I want to write many many things what happened. However I do not know how to start. I found I am not a logical thinker.
Whatever, high pressure of working, current financial crisis and expected dream of parents let me never escape out.  To be honest, I start to hating this boring social generally. I finally understand some people would suicide or kill others in order to revenge social. As previously, I doubted that why I can not do better than others. Because I am lazy, I don't like doing IT. But I am wrong, When I try my best to change situation, promotion is still hard for me. Yesterday, I got 3 as my score of Total Prefermence Management for whole year. 3 means that no promotion and little incressment of salary. The score make me feel fucking sick. Management totally ignored my effort and contribution for company. Complain is useless. That is why hundreds and thousands graduated students are hunting it.